Postscript to Sandi’s Story

Grief does not end when the service is over, it keeps echoing in ordinary places, in old friendships, and even in the way we fall in love again. I’m Candee Lucas, a Jesuit-trained chaplain and spiritual director, and I wanted to add a postscript to my recent conversations with Sandi Moran Brafford, because people who are grieving deserve to hear a simple truth: there is life after. Not a neat life, not an unscarred life, but a real one.

We talk about why telling the story matters, especially when your mind keeps circling the details trying to organize what happened. Sandi shares a surprising and tender thread from her own grief journey: she worked at a funeral home, and that is where she kept running into John at funerals and visitations. Out of repeated moments of shared community and shared mourning, a relationship began, one honest conversation at a time.

If you’re looking for grief support, bereavement resources, spiritual care, or a gentle place to land, come join this circle of healing, love, and support. 

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Art, Artifacts, Fabric and Design:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas and https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/vasonaarts

ELECTRONIC BOOKS:  1000 IMAGES OF JESUS  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6

Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

Transcript

Welcome And Why Solace Exists

Candee 0:51

Welcome to Solace, Soul + Grief. I'm glad you're here. My name is Candee Lucas. I'm a Jesuit trained chaplain and spiritual director. When we started this ministry nearly five years ago, our hope was to create a catalog of short readings, messages, tips, poems, pieces of scripture that would prove helpful to those who are traveling that road of grief, whether it be new raw grief or if you've been on that road for some period of time. So do check out the catalog to see if there are other pieces that might be useful or of interest to you. You're always welcome in this circle of healing, love, and support.

A Postscript To Sandi’s Journey

Candee 2:13

Today I want to add a postscript to my recent series of discussions with Sandi Moran Brafford about her grief journey. And that is indeed where the postscripts begin. Because we want to make sure that those in grief know that there is life after. a That's why I wanted to continue her story. Our discussion was long and fruitful, and really a lot of reminiscing between two old friends. But as I was putting it away into my archives, I realized the postscript to her story is very meaningful. And so I wanted to share it with you today. Sandi, thanks once more for being so open with our audience. And I know there's been great feedback, both to me and to you. So again, thank you for your generosity. God bless.

Sandi 3:34 Speaker 3:58 Speaker 3:58 Speaker 3:58

A Love Story Born At Funerals

Speaker 4:01

Oh, do you want to hear my how we met story? Yeah. You can edit that out. I worked for a funeral home for about five years, up until COVID, about five years. And so John and I kept running into each other at funerals and visitations because we knew a lot of the same people who are, of course, all getting older. So after several times of seeing one another, and he sent me an instant message because he didn't know how to get a hold of me and asked me out to dinner. That's how we got together from the funeral home. But it was just we had seen each other and we knew a lot of the same people, but we hadn't really seen each other except those hugs at funeral homes when you were on visitations. So that was kind of our um love story there. When we'd seen each other through the years and knew other people, and but we hadn't seen each other recently, except I'm trying to think what order to put this in. Well, I had lost Jim and Rich, and a few years later, he lost his wife and a son within about a year again. So we'd been through that. When John and I got married, we had a big discussion now. We want it. Yeah, he in fact, he and Jim went to the same school, uh, knew each other. Um my goodness. I knew I knew John when our kids were little. We were in the same group at church and school where we saw each other a lot and then hadn't seen him. John and I, um, especially since we had similar experiences, we still laugh about whenever we go out. If we have a couple of margaritas, we always have the death talk. We always talk about like in our relationship as well.

Shared Loss And Shared Words

Candee 6:11

These are big human things that happen, and lots of time, but of course, people more our age, closer to our age, we've had more losses and we've had close losses, and most of us have lost our parents and you know, other kinds of things. We've been through some traumatic losses. The fact that you guys can share that vocabulary too is really well.

Sandi 6:44

Even with his kids, they didn't really talk about losing. And so I think he really has opened up to me over the years, and we have we still talk about that. We just went out the other night and we're sitting there in a Mexican restaurant drinking margaritas. And he says, Oh no, it's the death talk again, isn't it? So it's kind of our thing.

Gentle Closing And Where To Listen

Candee 7:20

That concludes another episode. A new one drops every Friday morning. You can find us on Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Music. Remember, always be gentle to yourselves and to others that cross your path. Travel with God at your side. Vaya con dios.