Breeze Between Worlds

We share Rachel’s story of layered loss during 2020 and how a simple breeze became a faithful sign that love endures. We explore last words, waves of grief, and practical rituals to feel presence without denying absence.

• why naming love before goodbye brings peace
• how grief arrives in waves and why that is normal
• the role of nature and sensory cues in healing
• continuing bonds as a healthy way to stay connected
• building simple rituals to steady daily 

If you have questions about spiritual direction while grieving, or grief support or grief groups in your community, my contact information is in the show notes.

SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE

Art:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav
and  https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6

Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

Chapters

• 0:45 Welcome & Purpose of Solace
• 1:15 Introducing Rachel’s 2020 Losses
• 3:03 Tom’s Decline and Final Goodbye
• 4:20 Processing Waves of Grief
• 5:11 The Breeze as Ongoing Presence
• 6:30 More Losses Ahead & Lasting Comfort
• 6:34 Closing, Resources, and Gentle Reminder

Transcript

Candee: 0:45

Welcome to Solace, Soul Plus Grief. I'm glad you're here. My name is Candee Lucas. I'm a grief chaplain, a spiritual director, and your podcast host. I was trained by the Jesuits at Santa Clara University and the Jesuit Retreat Center in Los Altos, California. When we started this ministry four years ago, I had hoped to create a library of support for those who are in fresh grief, for those who are farther along on their grief journey, and for those who have fully integrated the loss of their loved one into their lives. Today I have a really special treat. The wife of my number one son, Dax, whose name is Rachel, suffered a series of losses beginning in 2020, the year of COVID. Those losses, one upon the other, had a profound effect on her life. And she agreed to share some of those stories with us. So today she begins the story of her life in 2020. She goes on to share the lesson she's learned in the grief process, on her grief journey, the importance of love and healing, and always the presence of those we have lost.

Rachel: 2:54

So after convincing my father that the best thing to do would be to call 911 and get himself checked out, I then received a message. I had reached out, I guess, and I'd received a message back from my friend Tom, who with a pancreatic cancer saying that he was in a lot of pain. He was in the hospital, he had stopped eating and drinking. And he felt he started off with an apology, which was terribly unneeded, but very defining of who he was, a person who was always giving and thinking of others first, apologizing for not having let me know sooner how bad things had gone, considering how important I was in his life. We took that opportunity to really just say goodbye to one another. So that was really hard. But what that allowed me to do though is we both were able to tell each other that we loved each other and that we would always, we always would. So those were kind of our last words. And I think, if nothing else, that brings me some solace knowing that that he died knowing how much he was loved, not just from his immediate family, but from other people who he had influenced throughout his life. And so kind of spent some time processing his death. Shortly, I guess, at some point thereafter, you know, and it and it was something that just like grief comes in waves, times of processing and thinking it through came in waves as well. And, you know, we just had started to kind of go back outside, but keep at our distance. So I was going to a park near our home that had a big pond or lake with ducks in it. And that sort of was just a calming space to go and kind of feel the earth. And and I went under, I was, I remember standing under a tree to seek some shade. It was Tucson. And I felt, and I was thinking of Tom very deeply. So I really began to think of the way that a people you love, when they die, they're still there, but just in a different form. Sometimes even talking about grief is such an interesting experience. Sometimes you can talk through it without any tears, and other times you can't do it without breaking down. That's something I've learned over time as well. But in that moment with the breeze coming through and sort of feeling him there, it brought a lot of comfort to know that somehow after you left someone, they're still there. Might look different, it might feel different, but somehow I knew that as he always had in my life, he still had my back. And from that moment forward, I've always unfortunately had a lot more loss to come. I didn't even know at the time. But what that moment taught me was that um also was that I began to always feel the people I lost in the breeze. And so every time the breezes come, I kind of feel the people and the love that we share.

Candee: 6:30

Thank you, Rachel. That concludes another episode. A new one drops every Friday. You can find us on Spotify, Amazon Music, and Apple Music. If you have any questions about spiritual direction while grieving, grief support in your community, please feel free to contact me. My contact information is in the show notes. Remember be gentle with yourself this week and with somebody else. Travel with God always by your side. Vaya con Dios.