SOLACE: Soul + Grief
This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality. I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side.
"I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises OR seek spiritual direction while grieving. I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings."
BACKGROUND
- Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius
- Centro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent Retreat/
- Center for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, CO
- California State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)
- Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education
- 19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
- Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral Ministries
CONTACT ME: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.
SOLACE: Soul + Grief
St. Ignatius' Wisdom: Through Grief
Experience how St. Ignatius of Loyola would counsel someone experiencing fresh grief through spiritual wisdom, emotional sensitivity, and practical guidance based on his teachings and spirituality. These approaches help navigate grief by fostering deeper connection with God, finding meaning in suffering, and cultivating hope even in our darkest moments.
• Acknowledge pain and invite God's presence - bringing raw emotions to prayer
• Engage in discernment to navigate difficult emotions - distinguish between consolation and desolation
• Find meaning in suffering - connect grief to Christ's suffering while trusting in the promises of resurrection
• Cultivate gratitude and hope - recalling moments of love with the deceased
• Seek community support - avoiding isolation and finding ways to honor your loved one
• Trust God's providence - surrendering grief while taking one step at a time
You can find me on Spotify, Amazon Music and Apple. You can contact me through my email in the show notes. A new episode drops every Friday.
You can reach me at: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com.
SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE
Art: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav
and https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6
Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Welcome to Solace: Soul + Grief. I'm glad you're here with me today. My name is Candee Lucas and I am a Jesuit-trained grief chaplain and spiritual director. I was trained by the Jesuits at Santa Clara University. When I started this ministry, I wanted to create a space for all those struggling with loss, whatever kind, because I know the death of a loved one is an enormous physical, spiritual, emotional and psychological shift. I created this library of podcasts for those struggling with particular issues of grief for particular kinds of loss, and for those who just wish gentle accompaniment. You're always welcome in this circle of healing, love and support.
Candee:July 31st is St Ignatius Day, and last week, with our imaginary interview of St Ignatius, I wanted to add one more piece of information about Ignatian spirituality and grief. So we're going to take notes from a session-- an imaginary session-- with Father Ignatius as he counsels a newly bereaved person. St. Ignatius of Loyola was the founder of the Jesuits and the author of the spiritual exercises, and he would likely counsel a newly bereaved person with a combination of spiritual wisdom, emotional sensitivity and practical guidance, rooted in his teachings on discernment, prayer and finding God in all things. His approach would likely focus on helping the person navigate their grief by fostering a deeper connection with God, trying to find meaning in suffering and cultivating hope. What follows is an outline of how he might counsel someone experiencing fresh grief, based on his writings and spirituality.
Candee:Number one: acknowledge the pain and invite God's presence. Ignatius would begin by validating the bereaved person's sorrow, recognizing grief as a natural response to loss. He would encourage them to bring their pain to God in prayer, trusting that God is present even in their suffering. In his spiritual exercises, ignatius emphasizes encountering God in all experience, including moments of desolation, especially in grief such as spiritual dryness or emotional distress. He would counsel your grief is real and it is heavy. Do not be afraid to feel it fully, for God is with you in this pain. Bring your tears, your questions and your heart to him in prayer. Speak to God as a friend, telling him all that you feel. In practice, he may suggest a simple prayer of presence, such as sitting quietly with God and expressing raw emotions, perhaps using the phrase-- Lord, I am hurting, lord. Hold me in this sorrow.
Candee:Number two: he would seek to engage in discernment to navigate these difficult emotions. . Ignatius' teaching on discernment, the process of understanding one's emotions and choices in light of God's will, would be central. He would no doubt assist the bereaved person, distinguish between consolation, feelings of peace and hope or closeness to God, and desolation, feelings of despair, isolation or spiritual emptiness that often accompany grief. He would likely counsel-- notice the movements of your heart when you feel overwhelmed by sadness or despair. Acknowledge these as waves of grief, but do not let them define you. Seek moments of consolation, memories of love, small joys or signs of God's care, and hold fast to them. Savor them. In practice, he might recommend keeping a journal to reflect on daily emotions and experience, asking where did I sense God today? Where do I feel alone? This aligns with his practice of the Examen a daily reflective prayer to discern God's present and seek God's guidance.
Candee:Number three: he would urge you to find meaning in suffering. Ignatius viewed suffering as an opportunity to grow closer to Christ who suffered on the cross. He would gently encourage the bereaved person to see their grief as a way to unite with Jesus' suffering, while all along trusting the promise of resurrection and eternal life and salvation. He might counsel-- your loss is a wound, but in it you can meet Christ, who knows suffering. Offer your pain to him and ask for the grace to trust that he is shaping your heart through this loss. Through this loss, your loved one is now with and in the presence of God and their love for you endures in eternity. In practice, ignatius might suggest meditating on the crucifixion and the resurrection in the spiritual exercises, imagining Christ comforting the bereaved person and their loved one in heaven. A specific prayer could be to contemplate the third week of the exercises, focusing on Jesus' compassion.
Candee:Number four: cultivate gratitude and hope. Ignatius emphasized gratitude as a path to spiritual freedom, even in grief. He would encourage the bereaved to recall moments of love and connection with the deceased, with the deceased loved one, fostering gratitude for their life and relationship. He would counsel In your sorrow, try to recall the gifts your loved one brought into your life, their laughter, their kindness, their presence. Thank God for these and ask for hope to carry you forward, trusting that you will be reunited one day. In practice, he might suggest a gratitude exercise within Examen asking the person to name one or two things each day that they are thankful for, even in the midst of grief, to nurture hope and healing.
Candee:Number five: Seek community and action. Ignatius valued community and active service as ways to live out our faith. He would encourage the bereaved person to avoid isolating themselves and to seek and to instead seek support from others, whether through family, friends or faith community. He might also suggest small, small acts of love or service as a way to honor your deceased loved one. He would counsel --do not walk this path alone. Share your grief with those who love you and let them carry you when you are weak. Consider how you might honor your loved one's memory through small acts of kindness or prayer. In practice, Ignatius might recommend attending Mass or a prayer service to pray for the soul of your deceased loved one, or by performing a charitable act in their memory, such as helping someone in need.
Candee:Ignatius' spirituality is grounded in trust in God's will and providence. He would remind the bereaved person that God holds both them and their loved one in his tender care, even and especially when the future feels uncertain. He would counsel-- God sees your pain and holds your loved one in his arms. Trust he is guiding you even now toward healing and peace. Surrender your grief to him and ask for the strength to take one step at a time. In practice, Ignatius might suggest a prayer of surrender such as his Suscipe which goes --Take Lord and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me.--
Candee:In tone, Ignatius would approach the bereaved person with deep compassion, speaking gently and with empathy, avoiding cliches and overtly quick assurances of healing. His counsel would be practical yet deeply spiritual, encouraging the other person to engage actively with their grief through prayer, reflection and community. He would emphasize that grief is a journey and, while the pain may not vanish quickly, God's presence offers strength and hope. And here's a sample prayer Ignatius might offer to you as you grieve. ---Lord Jesus, you wept for Lazarus and you know the sorrow in my heart. Hold me in my grief and let me feel your love and healing. Guide my loved one into your internal embrace, and give me the grace to trust in your mercy. Help me find you in this pain and lead me to hope again, amen.
Candee:This counsel reflects Ignatius' holistic approach, blending emotional honesty, spiritual depth and practical steps to help the bereaved navigate their loss while growing closer to God.
Candee:That concludes this episode. If you'd like, I can provide more details on any specific aspect of Ignatian spirituality or practices tailored to your grief. My contact information is in the show notes. Remember, a new episode drops every Friday and you can always find us on Amazon Music, Spotify and Apple. Be very gentle with yourselves this week. Travel with God always. Vaya con Dios.
