SOLACE: Soul + Grief
This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality. I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side.
"I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises OR seek spiritual direction while grieving. I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings."
BACKGROUND
- Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius
- Centro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent Retreat/
- Center for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, CO
- California State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)
- Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education
- 19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
- Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral Ministries
CONTACT ME: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.
SOLACE: Soul + Grief
Finding Light in Darkness: A Conversation with St. Ignatius on Grief
Candee Lucas, a grief chaplain and spiritual director trained by the Jesuits at Santa Clara University, presents an imaginative interview with St. Ignatius of Loyola exploring spiritual approaches to grief and loss. The 500-year-old saint offers compassionate guidance for those experiencing profound sorrow after losing a loved one.
• Recognizing "desolation" - when grief makes us feel distant from God - and continuing simple prayer practices
• Using the Ignatian Examen to notice small glimpses of God's presence even in times of deep sorrow
• Viewing suffering as a path to growing closer to Christ, who also experienced human pain
• Finding meaningful ways to honor lost loved ones through volunteer work, charity, or personal rituals
• Practicing gratitude for memories and the continuing bonds of love that extend beyond death
• Praying the Suscipe to surrender grief while maintaining connection to both loved ones and God
• Looking for "consolations" - small signs of divine care that provide hope during dark times
You can find us on Spotify, Amazon Music and Apple. You can contact me through my email in the show notes. A new episode drops every Friday.
For spiritual direction, art, and workshops shared through Santa Clara University, https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/344943-spiritual-accompaniment
You can reach us at: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com.
SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE
Art: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav
and https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6
Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
I welcome you to Solace: Soul + Grief. I'm really glad you're here with me today. My name is Candee Lucas and I'm a grief chaplain and spiritual director. I was trained by the Jesuits at Santa Clara University. When I started this ministry, I wanted to create a space for all those struggling with loss, of whatever kind, Most importantly the death of a loved one. This loss is an enormous physical, spiritual, emotional and psychological shift in our lives, so I created this library of podcasts for those struggling with a particular grief issue and for those who just wish gentle accompaniment on their grief journeys. Remember, you're always welcome in our circle of healing, love and support.
Candee:Today I present a very special interview with St Ignatius of Loyola, who's been dead about 500 years. The voice of St Ignatius has a slight echo and you can tell St Ignatius' responses, because they all begin with "my child. Let's begin. Let's begin
Candee:Thank you for being with us today, Padre. May I call you Padre?
Candee:Yes, my child.
Candee:Padre, I've
Candee:.
Candee:I've recently lost someone very dear to me and I'm struggling with overwhelming grief. How can I begin to cope with all this pain? My child, my heart aches with you in all of your
Candee:sorrow. I know that grief is a heavy cross, but you must know that God walks with you in this moment. First, allow yourself to feel the pain. It is a sign of love. Do not fear to bring your tears to God in prayer. Speak to Him as you would, a most trusted friend sharing all that weighs on your heart. My child, have you tried speaking directly to God about this loss and how heavy it's weighing on your heart? And how heavy it's weighing on your heart? I've tried, but I feel so lost. I feel like God is very far away. It's hard for me to pray when I'm so sad. Where do I begin when I feel this way? My child, this is what I call desolation, when the
Candee:soul feels distant from God, as if in darkness or dryness. In these moments, do not change the good habits of prayer you may have had before. Even a simple sigh,
Candee:a whispered Lord, help me, is a prayer. Try sitting quietly. and imagining
Candee:Jesus or Mary or your favorite disciple or a close friend sitting beside you sharing your grief. After all, we
Candee:must remember that Jesus wept for Lazarus, so you know that he understands. Perhaps try a small practice each evening, Reflect on your day and ask where did I glimpse God's presence, even faintly today? This is part of what I call the examine. It helps you remember and to see that God is never very far from your heart. That sounds very helpful, but sometimes I'm so angry or confused I don't understand why this is happening or why I feel this way. How do I make sense of this loss? My child, your anger and confusion are honest emotions and God welcomes your honesty.
Candee:In my spiritual exercises, I encourage people to see suffering as a path to growing closer to Christ. Suffering as a path . to
Candee:My closer to Christ, who also suffered as a very human being on our earth. Your pain can unite you to him. Ask yourself, what is God inviting me to learn through this loss experience? Perhaps it is to trust in his love, even when you cannot see the way. Try meditating on Jesus' passion. Picture him carrying his cross and offer Him your grief. Trust that your loved one is now with Him.
Candee:But I miss them so much. How can I keep going when I feel so empty, unlost and abandoned? My child, your . longing is a testament to the love that you shared, love
Candee:My child, grief does not end. To keep going, seek small moments of gratitude, Recall a memory of your loved one that brings a smile and thank God for it as you pray, brings a smile, and Suscipe God for it as you pray. As you pray the examen, "Take might ask yourself what gift did my loved one leave in my life? This gratitude can plant seeds of hope and reemergence. Also, do not walk alone. Share your heart with friends, family or your faith community. Have you tried? Have you someone you can trust to speak with? I have friends, but
Candee:I . don't want to burden them and --how afraid of forgetting my loved one If I start to heal? my
Candee:My child child. . Your?
Candee:fear. understandable, but healing does not
Candee:"Lord mean forgetting. It means carrying their love in a new way. Your friends are a gift from God to support you. Let them help. You might also honor your loved one through small acts, perhaps a prayer for their soul at Mass or a kind deed in their memory. These keep their
Candee:love alive in your actions, have you considered a way in which you can honor them? Have you
Candee:considered a way in which you can honor them? Maybe I could volunteer somewhere they cared about, or participate
Candee:in a charity they loved, or play music that they loved, or read books. .
Candee:But what if I feel stuck in this sadness forever my child? Grief is a journey, and some days the sadness will feel heavy and other days much lighter. Trust in God's providence. He is shaping your heart even now. I once wrote a prayer I called Suspe, in which I offer everything to God. It goes like this Take, Lord, my sorrow, my memories, my entire will. Give me only your love and grace, and that is enough. And that is enough. This type of prayer and surrender can free you to take one step at a time. Will you promise me to try this prayer and see how it feels? I will Thank you. One last thing how can I find hope when everything feels so dark right now, my child?
Candee:Hope comes from trusting that God holds both you and your loved one in his care. Each day, look for one small sign of his love, a kind word, a memory, a moment of peace and reconciliation. These are consolations, gifts from God to light your path and remember the promise of the resurrection that you will see your loved one again. Until then, live in the arms of their love and God's love. May I offer you a prayer, my child, Please? That would mean a lot. Lord Jesus, you know the sorrow of this heart. Hold my dear friend in their grief and let them feel your gentle presence, Guide their loved one into your eternal light and love and grant hope to carry on. May they find you in every tear and every step that they take Amen.
Candee:Thank you, St Ignatius. Your words have given me a very great and sacred place to start. Go gently, my child God is always with you. Return to prayer and I will pray for you too. That concludes another episode. A new one drops every Friday. You can always find me on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. If you wish to contact me, my information is available in the show notes. Remember travel with God, ever at your side. Be gentle with yourself, Vaya con Dios, Thank you, you.
