SOLACE: Soul + Grief
This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality. I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side.
"I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises OR seek spiritual direction while grieving. I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings."
BACKGROUND
- Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius
- Centro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent Retreat/
- Center for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, CO
- California State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)
- Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education
- 19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
- Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral Ministries
CONTACT ME: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.
SOLACE: Soul + Grief
My Son Is Not Here
Grief often speaks in simple, powerful truths like "My son is still not here" - words that capture the relentless reality of loss that remains despite our healing efforts. Explore how we can live with these painful realities while still finding connection to God and our loved ones.
• Finding prayer in the darkness through simple pleas
• Acknowledging the difficulty of waiting for God's help
• Remembering and documenting moments of love as a key to healing
• Reflecting on Meister Eckhart's poem about separation and reunion
• Understanding that our loved ones' essence waits in God's presence
Remember I'm always available for spiritual direction by Zoom to those who are grieving. Listen every Friday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon Music for spiritual direction, art, and workshops shared through Santa Clara University, https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/344943-spiritual-accompaniment
You can reach us at: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com.
SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE
Art: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnav
and https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucas
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6
Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
I welcome you to Solace: Soul + Grief. My name's Candee Lucas and I'm a grief chaplain. I accompany those who are grieving any kind of loss and I ask that you let me accompany you today. You're always welcome in this circle of healing, love and support. Remember, we are all on this journey together.
Candee:My son is still not here. That's what the woman across from me said when I attended a recent session. I've been thinking about what she said ever since.
Candee:Many of us, including myself, work very hard to try to attend to the grief of others, hoping that our experiences may be of some assistance. Then a voice cries out in very real pain --"but my son is still gone. But my son is still gone. How can we live with these cruel realities? How can our God attend us and how can we continue to believe in his love and care In the face of unimaginable pain? First we do it with prayer, maybe in the darkness of the night, in the darkness of our own soul, when all we can do is remember our tears and our longing and our pain. But that tiny prayer comes through, please. And if we were to extend it, please help me. And if we were to extend it further, please help me, god. The next part is the most difficult waiting for that help, because we know we know in the daytime that God works on his own timeline, not ours. We don't know how soon that help may come. It might be true that the waiting itself is the cause of our pain, because while we wait, while we wait to see and experience God's love once again, we wait in our pain and it seems we wait there alone. It is difficult to see in the darkness what might be just beyond the shadows. It is difficult in those dark days to remember the love of our person now missing, the love they created in their life, the love they created with us, and the love they created with God. Yet remembering this love is the key. It's worthwhile to remember and maybe write down certain days or times or occurrences or occasions when that love between you and your missing loved one most acutely represented on a holiday, a birthday, a special occasion, or maybe on a quiet day where you sat together in a room and didn't speak but knew the love that surrounded you. Write that down, then think of another day, another time when you said it to each other, when you said those words --I love you-- and remember what it felt like to be able to express that to a person you hold most dear.
Candee:Meister Eckhart, who lived between 1260 and 1328, is one of history's great mystics. His religious writings were so eloquent that they helped evolve the German language. He was a Catholic monk and scholar who often presented his faith and spiritual understandings in sermons of stunning clarity, and he offers the following, entitled when; "I Was the Forest"- when I was the stream, when I was the forest, when I was still the field, when I was every hoof, foot, fin and wing, when I was the sky itself, no one ever asked me did I have a purpose? No one ever wondered was there anything I might need? For there was nothing I could not love.
Candee:It was when I left all we once were, that agony began. The fear and questions came and I wept. I wept; and tears I had never known before. So I returned to the river. I returned to the river. I returned to the mountains. I asked for their hand in marriage. Again, I begged. I begged to wed every object and creature. And when they accepted, God was ever present in my arms and he did not say where have you been? For then I knew my soul, every sky, the stream, the forest, where the essence of you waits in the presence of God for your reunion.
Candee:That concludes this week's episode. You can find us on Apple, Spotify or Amazon. Feel free to send any questions you might have about grieving to my email. In the show notes I'll try to answer any questions you have. Remember I'm always available for spiritual direction by Zoom to those who are grieving. Please reach out to me if you have this need. Be safe. Travel with God always at your side. Vaya con Dios.
