SOLACE: Soul + Grief
YOUR PERSONAL, IN-HOUSE CHAPLAIN.
This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality. I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side. I am a Jesuit-trained-and-inspired spiritual companion to the dying and their families, survivors, friends and caretakers.
"I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises. I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings."
BACKGROUND
Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius/Centro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent Retreat/Center for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, CO/California State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)/Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education/19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius/Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral Ministries
CONTACT ME: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.
SOLACE: Soul + Grief
A Journey of Healing with Presence - WITH TERRY JELLEY
Inspired by the heartfelt teachings of Father Greg Boyle, today we navigate the stories of loss, including the poignant experiences shared about his mother's passing. Terry Jelley is back and together, we explore the power of simply being present—sometimes a silent hand can speak louder than words, offering a spiritual embrace during the darkest moments. Father Boyle's philosophy of love and recognizing inherent goodness becomes a guiding light, showing us the potential for a world transformed by compassion and acceptance.
SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE FREE OF CHARGE
You can reach us at: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com to arrange personal spiritual direction.
Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay: Astrat_Danielyan_Composer
We welcome you to Solace: Soul Plus Grief. I'm glad you're here. I'm Candy Lucas, a Jesuit-trained Catholic chaplain and spiritual director, and I've been involved with a bereavement ministry since 2009. We know that loss can make profound changes in people's lives. Can make profound changes in people's lives. We understand how difficult it is to travel this path of grief and how important and monumental the loss of a loved one can be. So we created this podcast to help you walk with God as you grieve your losses, understand what's happening in your heart and soul as you grieve, to be available in the best way we can to accompany you on this journey. You're always welcome in this circle of healing, love and support you. We continue our conversation with my friend, terry Jelly and discuss the teachings of Father Greg Boyle, a Jesuit priest who works with gang members in Los Angeles. Here's that discussion. I used to have a Code bue psalm that I read. Is there any piece, any psalm, any Bible verse?
Terry:I am a huge user and believer and in "our father, because I think most people, if they're Christian, catholic and I, I believe that is a prayer for Jewish people as well, because Jesus was a Jew, it was his prayer, right, I'm a big reader of that prayer. But we also have a book of prayers, um, in the office, that that we always take with us, and there's psalms and there's there's Buddhist readings there's native american readings.
Terry:There's a lot of beautiful prayers, but I think again, it's just, it's not even so much what you say. It's that you are there, you are a presence with that person and sometimes it can even.
Terry:You are there, you are a presence with that person and sometimes it can even just be. There's spirituality in silence, in silence and being next to holding, putting just your arm on somebody's hand or shoulder and maybe gently rubbing it and just let them know. You know, I'm here, I'm here.
Terry:I know that I was so fortunate and I've been there many times to do a retreat this weekend with Father Greg Boyle, who's the Jesuit who founded the largest gang intervention organization in the whole world Homeboys Industries down in LA, and he tells the story and this is my favorite thing that he ever talks about, not the Homeboys, but his mother's death, and it's very related to my mother's death.
Terry:I heard him tell this right after his mother died and we were down in LA at this religious conference and he said every time, towards the end, when he would go to visit his mother and she was fortunate to die in her own bed, in her own room, in her own home, she would raise her arms up and kind of a V over her head and say you're here, you're here, she'd be so excited to see him. And he always he says you know, that's how he thinks our God or our higher power is just waiting with open arms, outstretched arms above our head, saying you're here, and all he asks of us is to be that presence for another person. And it's so poignant to me because the very last time I saw my mother and my last memory of her was she was sitting in a chair next to the bed that she ended up dying it with her arms raised up to meet like in bug, the same thing that he did, so it was like and his mother died right at the same time.
Terry:You know around my mother did so, it was so. It was just so beautiful, it was so beautiful that's just when we have those experiences.
Candee:I wouldn't say reaffirming, I'd say affirming, you know, affirming what we believe, how we are traveling in our temporal lives and how we will be received on our deaths. I think we take for granted that what we believe informs so much of how we receive people in death, how we conceive people and death and how we conceive their passing. Now, I'm not saying here and you and I have talked about this before and we kind of feel like it's coming home in a way, which is a different experience, coming back to God, being welcomed back to God, being embraced by God. Those types of things are what occurred to me when a person dies. But I think it makes so much difference in the hospital, even to the staff your person who wanted to move on from the dying person, or the nursing staff to see you in there praying, you know, with someone all of a sudden they become different too. You know, their attitude toward that patient becomes different too.
Terry:It's interesting. Every time we do ICU rounds and every time I go into a room even if the person's, if they're awake, if they're sedated, whatever if I go in and say a prayer at the bedside, the nurse always says thank you, thank you for doing that. Because, I think sometimes too, they feel like they have the whole burden of the physical care. And.
Terry:I think it's reassuring to them to have someone else as part of their team, not only caring for the patient, but reassuring them, because I always say I'm praying for you as well. And I know it was so tragic and difficult during COVID because the you know, nursing staff were the only people that were able to be in a room with these patients as they were dying. They became, in essence, their family and it was very hard on them, very difficult for them, but so so that's part of you know, us being there too. We're not just there for the patients, but we're there for the staff, because everybody needs that, you know, spiritual, spiritual reminder, spiritual boost that there's something larger than you, that there's other people in this together, like you're here.
Terry:And I think that's the thing that Greg Boyle emphasized more than he ever has in this one meeting. He quotes this mystic Mirabai Star, and she's quoting somebody else who says if your God, however you know your God or your higher power, is not a God of love, god, however you know, your God or your higher power is not a God of love, you need to fire that God, like if you have a God of justice or of calling you to be obedient. Get rid of that. God is a God of love. We need to recognize that and we need to spread that love and share that love, just like we're sharing that you're here with other people. We need to be that presence to one another. And just think if we were that presence to one another in this world as we live and as we die, what a different place it would be from what it is right now.
Candee:Oh, truly, truly.
Terry:And to recognize. The other thing he says is that Everyone and this is why he's so successful in his gang work everyone is innately good. He believes that we were all created innately good and that through trauma in our lives maybe illness, mental illness we kind of get off track. But deep inside of all of us there is an innate good person. And so he tries to look at the gang members that come in with all their tattoos and all their they've been in prison and their addictions. He sees inside of them this good person and helps them, kind of holds a mirror to them to help them find that person within themselves. And that's why he's so successful. He doesn't bring them in and, okay, you got to do this and this and this and this, it's just all about being together. He creates this atmosphere at Homeboys where everybody, even rival gang members, work together to learn to be together in love and not hatred.
Candee:That concludes another episode. A new one drops every Friday. Please join us on Spotify, Amazon Music or Apple. Thank you for joining us. Spiritual direction is always available. See my contact email in the show notes. This is Cand Lucas, your host, chaplain and spiritual director. Go with God. Namaste Vaya con Dios.
