SOLACE: Soul + Grief
This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality. We hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side. Candee Lucas, your host, is a Jesuit-trained-and-inspired spiritual companion to the dying and their families, friends and caretakers.
"I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises. I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings."
BACKGROUND
Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius/Centro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent Retreat/Center for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, CO/California State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)/Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education/19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius/Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral Ministries
SOLACE: Soul + Grief
1000 Broken Hearts
What does it mean to truly heal from the loss of a loved one? Let's explore this profound question by reflecting on a recent memorial service where we honored 1,000 souls. Through the teachings of Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh, we discover how each death leaves a lasting impact on countless lives. Walk in this dimension of oneness, where the earth nurtures us in life and in death, and remember this circle of healing and love.
Be sure to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Spotify, or follow us on the Facebook pages of Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Los Altos, California, or Calvary Cemetery in San Jose, California.
SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE FREE OF CHARGE
You can reach us at: ccoutreach@dsj.org
To arrange personal spiritual direction: 408-359-5542
Our theme music is: Gentle Breeze by Yeti Music from the album "Uppbeat".
Additional Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
We welcome you to another edition of Solace: Soul + Grief. I'm Candee Lucas, your host. When we started this ministry, we'd hoped to reach those who were grieving and accompany them on their journeys with prayers, reflections, scripture and other writings that could lead them more easily on their grief journeys. We're brought to you by Catholic Cemeteries in the Diocese of San Jose. Remember, you're always welcome in our circle of healing love and support. At a recent memorial service we held at the cemetery, someone noted we had buried around 1,000 people in the previous year, 1,000 souls, and in the audience that day was a family who'd recently lost a young son and brother in a senseless shooting. As I looked into the mother's eyes I thought about those thousand souls and I realized that was at least a thousand broken hearts. A thousand broken hearts. Sometimes we have a tendency when we hear about the deaths of large numbers of people, we have that tendency to just be immune to that number. Whether it's the World Trade Center or Sandy Hook or Uvalde or the churches and synagogues that have been attacked, whatever the numbers are, there are equal number of broken hearts. So when they say there are 300 dead children and women in Gaza, we can't imagine the impact of 300 deaths on families and friends and loved ones. You can imagine what it's like for 300 mothers' hearts to break, for 300 fathers' hearts to break, for 300 siblings, aunts and uncles. Hearts, broken hearts, 1,000 broken hearts. Previously I have referred to the work of the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh and to his book called "How to Live when a Loved One Dies. It offers many ideas, prayers and poems and suggestions to support grieving those who are grieving those who are mourning publicly, and one of my favorites is called A Free White Cloud, which goes Now you are free, the chains no longer confine your true body. You return to your life as a white cloud just like before a white cloud, utterly free in the immense sky. 1,000 Broken Hearts. And then he asks us to look deeply to see our beloveds in other forms. On a beautiful sunny day, we may look up into the sky and see a nice puffy cloud floating by. We admire its shape, the way the light falls upon its many folds and the shadow it casts on the green field. You fall in love with this cloud. You want it to stay with you and keep you happy. But then its shape and color start to change. The sky becomes dark. It begins to rain. The cloud is no longer apparent to us. It has become rain. We begin to cry for the return of our beloved cloud. But when the cloud transforms itself into the rain, we can look deeply into the rain and see that our cloud is still there, laughing and smiling at us. We fall in love with this cloud. We want it to stay with us and keep us happy, but then its shape and color start to change. 1,000 broken hearts. Much as we contemplate the breaking of those thousand hearts, or three hundred hearts, Hanh notes the ocean of suffering is immense, but if you turn around you can see the land. The earth I tread this morning transcends history. Spring and winter are both present in the moment. The young leaf and the dead leaf are really one. My feet touch deathlessness and my feet are yours. Walk with me now. Let us enter the dimension of oneness and see the cherry tree blossom in winter. Why should we talk about death? I don't need to die to be back with you. One thousand broken hearts. Remember that Earth brings us to life and nourishes us all life long. And then Earth takes us back again. Amen, no coming, no going. No after, no before I hold you close to me, I release you to be so free because I am in you and you are in me. 1,000 broken hearts. When it rains, we think there's no sunshine, but above the clouds the sun shines brightly in the blue sky. Our loved ones do not want us to suffer after they die. They want us to be happy. We may hold on to our grief, believing that our deep grief and despair is a measure of the depth of our love for the person we have lost, or we may continue to torture ourselves with feelings of guilt, remorse and regret. But the real question is not whether our loved ones can forgive us for our failings, but if we can forgive ourselves. Do we have enough compassion for ourselves? Can we see that we are doing the best we could with the conditions we had at the time? When we understand that we are doing the best we could and that we are always doing the best we can with what we have, we feel less burdened. We can accept our shortcomings and forgive ourselves. Be gentle with ourselves. One thousand broken hearts. When an arrow strikes you, you feel intense pain. You feel intense pain. But if a second arrow strikes you in the same spot, the pain you feel is not double but ten times worse. Losing someone you love is the first arrow. You feel the acute pain of loss and sorrow, but worrying, being anxious or succumbing to despair are like the second arrow. When you are in pain. Breathe in and out and recognize the pain, but don't exaggerate it. Don't allow the second arrow to strike Our guilt. Remorse and regrets are the second arrows we often fire at ourselves. One thousand broken hearts. This has been another episode of Solace: Soul + Grief. Thank you for listening. To help support us, please subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon or find us on Google. I'm Candee Lucas, your host, aftercare coordinator at Catholic Cemeteries, chaplain and Spiritual Director. You can reach us at the email or phone number in the show notes. Remember, be good to yourselves and go with God. Vaya con Dios.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
