Bearing the Weight of Absence

Have you ever felt the ground beneath you shift, not from an earthquake, but from the seismic impact of grief? 

As the planet adjusts to the weight of glaciers and the movement of tectonic plates, so do we adapt to the void left by loved ones, seeking solace in the new landscapes of our lives. We learn that the most profound transformations require time, patience, and the gentle passage of time.  We invite you into a reflective space where the natural world mirrors our inner tumult and the eventual path to equilibrium after a profound loss.

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SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE FREE OF CHARGE

You can reach us at: ccoutreach@dsj.org
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Our theme music is:  Gentle Breeze by Yeti Music from the album "Uppbeat".
Additional Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

Transcript

Candee: 0:21

Welcome to this week's episode of Solace: Soul + Grief. I'm Candee Lucas. We're glad you're here. This podcast is sponsored by Catholic Cemeteries and the Diocese of San Jose. The death of a loved one is a very difficult life transition and we hope we can answer some of your questions, help you find where God is moving in your life as you continue your grief journey, and remind you of the power of your faith and love for God. You're always welcome in our circle of healing, love and care.

Candee: 1:26

Isostasy is the process by which the Earth's crust adjusts to changes in its load, such as the weight of glaciers or the movement of tectonic plates. The word isostasy comes from the Greek words isos, meaning equal, and stasis, meaning standing. Isostasy is a dynamic process that is constantly occurring and it helps to maintain the Earth's equilibrium. When the load is removed from the crust, such as when a glacier melts, the crust will rebound. This is because the crust is now less dense than the mantle and the mantle is able to push the crust back up. To push the crust back up, for example, the weight of the glaciers during the last ice age caused the crust to sink in some areas and this created the Great Lakes. Have you wandered into a 7th science, lesson ----no? Because, as I was thinking about this the other day, I thought how similar grief is to this concept. We most readily think of this term isostasy when we think about an iceberg. Now, grief and an iceberg may seem like vastly different entities, but they share some profound similarities. Both involve hidden depths, gradual exposure, emotional impact, uniqueness and the passage of time in the healing process. Understanding these parallels can provide a unique perspective on the grief journey.

Candee: 3:40

Grief is the process by which people adjust to the loss of a loved one. Isostasy occurs when the earth's crust rises or sinks, and this process can take thousands or even millions of years. Grief, similarly, is a process that takes time. People who are grieving may experience a range of emotions, from shock and disbelief to anger and sadness. Over time, they may gradually come to terms with their loss and find ways to move on terms with their loss and find ways to move on. Both isostasy and grief can cause significant changes in the landscape. Those melting glaciers cause land to rise and the movement of tectonic plates cause mountains to form. Grief can also cause significant changes in people's lives changes to relationships, careers and even physical and mental health. Both these are natural processes. One helps the earth to maintain its equilibrium and the other helps people to cope with loss. Although both can be difficult, they are both essential for healing and growth-- one of the earth, the other of the person. And while we know that mourning is the process of grieving the death of a loved one, isostasy is the process by which the earth's crust adjusts to changes, from shock and disbelief to anger and sadness. Over time, they may gradually come to terms with their loss and find ways to move on. It takes time for the crust to adjust and reach a new equilibrium the very purpose of grief and mourning to reach a new equilibrium. And although mourning can be difficult, it is essential for healing and growth. Much as the Earth's healing and growth through isostasy can sometimes cause problems such as earthquake and volcanoes, it is essential for the long-term stability of the planet.

Candee: 7:01

Here are some striking similarities between the iceberg and our grief. Between the iceberg and our grief, the majority of an iceberg's mass lies beneath the water's surface, hidden from view. Similarly, much of the emotional pain and turmoil experienced during grief remains unseen to others, unless we make a point of sharing it with them. As an iceberg melts, more of its mass becomes visible above the water's surface, just as, over time, as we grieve, we gradually begin to express our emotions more openly. Much as icebergs can be hazards to ships, grief can have a profound impact on individuals lives, causing emotional turmoil and affecting relationships. No two icebergs are exactly alike, each having its own unique shape and size. Each person's experiences grief differently, with no two grieving processes being identical to one another. Icebergs eventually melt and disappear over time. While grief may never fully disappear, its intensity diminishes over time as individuals heal toward new equilibrium. Understanding these parallels can provide a unique perspective on the journey.

Candee: 9:11

Our Bible conveys the message that God is a God of restoration. He desires to restore His people, their relationship with Him, their lives and the entire creation to a state of peace, wholeness and beauty. He promises to create new heavens and a new earth where there will be no more sorrow and pain in Isaiah 65. He promises to restore the broken relationship between himself and us in Hosea 2. Lamentations 3 emphasizes God's enduring love and faithfulness, reminds us that His mercies are new every morning and encourages us to find hope and strength in God's constant presence and care. That concludes another episode of Solace. A new one drops every Friday. Please subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon or find us on Google. I'm Candee Lucas, your host, Aftercare Coordinator, chaplain and spiritual director at Catholic Cemeteries at Gate of Heaven in Los Altos, California. Please contact us if you have questions or seek spiritual direction. Our contact information is in the show notes. Be gentle with yourselves. Travel with God. Vaya con Dios.