Eclipse of Mortality: A Classmate's Death

Grief often arrives uninvited, transforming our world when we least expect it. This week, we explore the intertwining of loss and light, and the role of faith in navigating the labyrinth of sorrow.  Remember, when the night seems endless, there exists a love that shines ceaselessly, guiding us all towards solace.   We are reminded that  we are never truly alone.

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Transcript

Candee: 0:23

Welcome to this week's episode of Solace: S oul + Grief. I'm Candee Lucas. We're glad you're here. This podcast is sponsored by Catholic Cemeteries and the Diocese of San Jose. The death of a loved one is a very difficult life transition and we hope we can answer some of your questions, help you find where God is moving in your life as you continue your grief journey, and remind you of the power of your faith and love for God. You're always welcome in our circle of healing, love and care.

Candee: 1:34

Janet Lee Fisher was born in 1949, the same year as I was. She was a classmate of mine back in the day and although she wasn't a close friend, she was a friend and hung out mainly with the kids that got straight A's. One of the things I remember most about Janet Lee Fisher, is that she got straight A's. Janet Lee Fisher died in August of 1963 when we were in eighth or ninth grade I don't remember which, but her death had been quite visible to all her classmates because she had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and had undergone brain surgery at the University of Iowa hospitals and came back to class a couple months later with horseshoe-sized and horseshoe-shaped scars on both sides of her head and, and, of course, a buzz cut. As I remember, she seemed mostly the same after she came back to school Slower, maybe more hesitant, but she seemed to come back more or less normal, absent the scars. So nobody-- the teachers, other students, nobody talked about what the almost assured end would be to Janet's brain cancer. So it was kind of a surprise later, when she was absent from school for a week or so and then we found out she had died.

Candee: 4:03

I think the school made arrangements so a lot of her classmates could go to the funeral and it was our first time probably at a funeral and certainly up close the death of a very young person our own age. I don't remember much about that funeral except this one thing --there was an eclipse in Iowa that day and during the services and when we came out of the services the sky had darkened significantly, like a really dark, cloudy day before a storm, and I think the sky actually was more or less overcast because no one was trying to look at the eclipse or lined up to see what it might be like. But it of course, it cast a pall over the events and made an impression on us all. I'm certain that death, and this death of a child in particular, was somehow a dark and cursed event. So my impression of that funeral that they had an open casket and we all filed by and Janet Lee Fisher looked just like herself in the coffin and that it seemed impossible that people my own age had stopped living. I think of that phrase now, that "stop-living phrase, as rather kind of a child's way of expressing what death means to teenagers when they experience it. A lot of teenagers will lose grandparents or other elderly relatives, but to lose a contemporary of your own brings death a different dimension, makes it become a different reality. And today I can grieve Janet Leigh Fisher in a very different way. I can see how tragic her loss was to her family, her parents, her brother. I think the whole family moved away after Janet died and the loss of light that occurred during that funeral that day made a lasting impression on me because all these years later I remember that day vividly.

Candee: 7:59

I remember casting this idea of the loss of life with the loss of light as I've traveled subsequent paths on my own grief journey. This loss of light has always been present, but now I know that God sits behind me. Even when it is the darkness that is most vivid. I can feel his presence. I can feel him breathing. I can feel his voice say to me breathe with me, just breathe. This darkness is not real. My love shines through, shines on you always. All you must do is open your eyes to me, open your heart to me, remember vividly my love and know with certainty that you do not travel this road alone.

Candee: 10:15

That concludes another episode of Solace. A new one drops every Friday. Please subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon or find us on Google. I'm Candee Lucas, your host, Aftercare Coordinator, Chaplain and spiritual director at Catholic Cemeteries at Gate of Heaven in Los Altos, California. Please contact us if you have questions or seek spiritual direction. Our contact information is in the show notes. Be gentle with yourselves. Travel with God. Vaya con Dios.