The Quiet Embrace of Prayer

Have you ever wondered how your faith can become your refuge amidst the overwhelming waves of grief?   Through the lens of Jesus' own abandonment, we find a mirror for our loneliness in loss, and consider the temptation of "magical thinking" that Joan Didion so poignantly described. It's a journey to remember the transformative nature of faith and the ever-present embrace of God's love.

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Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:33

Welcome to this week's episode of Solace: Soul+ Grief. I'm Candee Lucas. We're glad you're here.

Speaker 2: 0:41

This podcast is sponsored by Catholic Cemeteries in the Diocese of San Jose. The death of a loved one is a very difficult life transition and we hope we can answer some of your questions, help you find where God is moving in your life as you continue your grief journey, and remind you of the power of your faith and love for God. You're always welcome in our circle of healing, love and care. One way to pray the scripture is to take someone with you and talk with them along the way. For example, Mary Magdalene or Peter or Mary, the mother of Jesus. As you take that walk along with them, why don't you tell them how you carry your grief with you and to let guide to them what your loved one meant to you on this earth and what your loved one means to you now? Tell them how that loss feels to you, how it feels to your heart. Tell them how that loss feels to you every single day when you arise and see an empty bed or other empty space that person should be. Talk with them along the way about how much strength Jesus has given you as you walked in grief. Tell his mother Mary what it means to you to have Jesus as a friend and companion. Maybe on some days you can walk alongside of Jesus, either in the desert or at a later time, and thank him and show gratitude for the love he has shown you, the healing he has granted you, the memories he has blessed you with.

Speaker 2: 3:38

All four Gospels have the disciples leave after the arrest of Jesus. Matthew and Mark describe it as a flight. Luke doesn't mention it, doesn't mention any flight, but the disciples are noticeably absent. During the rest of his passion narrative, john has Jesus negotiate their release. All four Gospels then say that Peter followed Jesus to the courtyard of the High Priest. Matthew and Mark notes that he followed at a distance, which is not how true disciples followed the Lord, assuming that Jesus knew Peter was nearby. Was this a consolation to him? Hardly. The late scripture scholar Raymond Brown puts it well. In no sense is Peter's coming after Jesus to the High Priest palace a contradiction of Jesus' prediction that the disciples would leave him all alone.

Speaker 2: 4:48

Jesus was never more alone, humanly speaking, than when Peter said three times that he was not Jesus' disciple. There are times when we feel very much alone. Friends, even close friends can't fully be with us at our deepest level when we suffer a major setback, heartache or loss of a loved one. Have you ever experienced that aloneness? Talk to Jesus about it. He's been there with you. Spend some quiet time with the Lord.

Speaker 2: 5:47

I talked previously in episode 21 in Season 2 about Joan Didion's book the Year of Magical Thinking. In the time I've spent with people who are grieving, be it a brand new loss or a loss from the past, I notice we including myself almost always are engaging in magical thinking. By magical thinking we mean what change could have happened that would have made a different outcome. For instance, I have this notion in my head that if Nellie Connolly doesn't turn around to President Kennedy in the limousine and say "you can't say Texas doesn't love you, if she just doesn't say that, john Kennedy survives. Likewise, I have this sense that if Martin Luther King, on the night before his assassination, doesn't say the phrase I may not get there with you, he survives in assassination attempt.

Speaker 2: 7:30

And likewise when they show Bobby Kennedy speaking and I imagine, if he just doesn't say the words, "and now on to Chicago, that he survives an assassination attempt, but without fail. Every time they show the scenes, we hear what Nellie Connolly said, we hear Martin's own words and we hear Bobby's own words. That's what magical thinking is Imagining the outcome of our loved one's death is different somehow than it is. And so I took this concept of magical thinking to prayer and I laid it right down there in front of Jesus and asked him why this idea of magical thinking is such an attractive one. He was gentle with me, as he often is telling me, reminding me how wonderfully, fearfully, beautifully we are all made and that our life in God and with God is a course in itself. What happens along the way in our lives, the people we meet, the people we love, the people we lose, all are part of the fabric of our corporate, real lives. But they are a part of our lives that will fall away in time as we Reach the end of our own lives. Those colors and textures and sights and sounds of our life on Earth will fall away and seem less and less significant. You may have noticed that in your own loved one if they died after a long illness. Still, those people in places that come into our lives, that create love in our hearts, that create memories of love and goodness and peace and wonder and fullness and bounty are not insignificant. They remind us and our indications of God's overwhelming love for us that existed before we did and will exist long after. Indeed. As Christians, we believe he takes us into this love perfectly when we die.

Speaker 2: 11:58

That concludes another episode of Solace. A new one drops every Friday. Please subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon or find us on Google. I'm Candee Lucas, your host, aftercare coordinator, chaplain and spiritual director at Catholic Cemeteries at Gate of Heaven in Los Altos, California. Please contact us If you have questions or seek spiritual direction. Our contact information is in the show notes. Be gentle with yourselves. Travel with God.